Drive – Good
Flights – Good
Arrival – Good
Korean Bathhouse – Lets not talk about it
After more then 24 hours of traveling from Seattle – Portland – LAX – Seoul – Jinju my new employer thought he would be gracious enough to invite me to a Korean bathhouse for recuperation. I had been told that this was a very admired custom where business people and friends meet to relax. So as I am imagining an up scale sauna my co-worker informs me that “in the bathhouse men wear nothing but their birthday suites.”
Um....… Okay, so my boss wants to see me naked and he doesn't even know me? Did he hear I was tall and cant help but to fill his curiosity about a big American? No matter what his thoughts were this cant be good, but I would feel like a rude traveler if I were to decline his offer so I settled it within myself to try it out.
So lets see what your batting with
After arriving in what looked like a dirty mens locker room we paid a man in a booth for locker keys and got into our wardrobes of nothing. At this point I am offered some grape juice so we stand in a circle and drink… (FYI nobody has called no-homo yet). After our delicious beverages we walk into a room with three giant bathtubs filled with water ranging from ice cold to hot. Not to fast, before we climb in this A-Trap infested dirty tub we must shower together and get nice and clean. After our shower shesh, it was time to get in and get comfortable. 
Apparently alternating your body in the different temperature tubs helps circulation and relaxation yadda, yadda, yadda, nothing is going to make me think this is not gay. Though this did help me understand why there are so many naked Asian men in locker rooms in the US.
In an attempt to make up for the extremely homosexual encounter I was finding myself in I had to come up with a way to seem as masculine as possible so I tried to talk about boxing, UFC, football and chewing tabacco while hunting baby seals, but no matter the topic I still found myself coming to the conclusion that the only way I was going to feel right again was when I felt the Hanes comfort soft waistband back around my stomach and my Jordan’s under my feet.
After an painful 30min I was able to persuade everyone that they had enough and we exited the premises. I wanted to tell them that we really shouldn’t talk about what happened in there but before I could I was informed that this would be a weekly and often daily event….
Praise Jesus I have not been back since and am using all my best efforts to keep it that way. I hope to bring tidings of good events in my future blogs but wanted to confess all my sins before letting you in on my new life in Korea. God please don't make me go back there!
-Highway Man
